What you’re feeling is normal

“I felt totally alone. It was the first time in my life where I used the word orphan, and it made me cringe. I hated it.” – Tom, whose mother died

Losing your parent is like losing your sense of home

No matter your age, your mother and father are your home base—the ones you turn to when you’re feeling happy or sad; the place you go for a home-cooked meal, encouragement, and unconditional love. They’re the glue that holds the family together. And without your mother or father, you’re likely feeling displaced, orphaned—and alone.

At GriefShare, we understand what you’re going through. And we’re here to let you know that you’re not alone in your pain. The complex emotions you’re experiencing are common, and even to be expected.  

The death of a parent creates grief and challenges unlike any other loss. As you navigate your feelings and experiences, these suggestions can serve as a compass to help you take steps forward:

 

Be honest with how you’re feeling

Whether you’re feeling sad, angry, abandoned, guilty, relieved that your parent is no longer suffering, or everything in between, it’s normal. But by acknowledging and naming these emotions, you can navigate them one by one and find ways to manage them and lessen their intensity.

“Grief comes in waves. You can’t control that process, and it doesn’t have to look a particular way. Instead of pushing those emotions away, sit with them; slow down to figure out what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling it.” — Yana Jenay Connor, author and teacher whose father died

 

Reach out for support

Loneliness. Exhaustion. Sadness. Confusion. Grief can cause all these experiences and more—making it difficult to keep your mind from circling down a negative path and causing you to want to isolate yourself. This is why it’s more important than ever to find supportive, uplifting friends who will sit with you, encourage you, and pray with you. 

“When my father died, I felt so alone. I just had to reach out to people. I relied on the love of the church, the love of family, and surrounding myself with people.” — Dr. Zoricelis Davila, psychotherapist whose father and mother died

 

Journal your thoughts during life’s milestones

You always imagined your mom and dad being there for life’s most important moments: walking you down the aisle, experiencing the birth of their grandchildren, birthday celebrations, new jobs, graduations, and more. And now that they’re gone, you’re not only grieving their loss but also what could have been.

“I encourage people all the time to journal how they’re feeling and write to their loved one and to God, and tell [them] how you’re feeling and what’s going on. That can provide some healing and help you process the emotions and what you’re feeling.” — Dr. Michelle Dickens, counselor whose mother and father died

 

Understand that grief changes over time

Immediately after the loss of your mother or father, the pain will feel overwhelming, suffocating, and raw. But it’s important to know that over time, the intensity of the grief will lessen. 

“We have to recognize that when we go through a big loss, we carry it with us for the rest of our lives. But we can learn to carry it differently, more lightly, more redemptively in a way. And it begins to have a different kind of impact on our lives.” — Dr. Jerry Sittser, author and teacher, whose mother, wife, and daughter died

 

Support for what you’re going through

If you’re grieving the loss of your parent, GriefShare can help. Through our 13-week support groups, you’ll find practical help for dealing with grief and connection with people who understand.  

“GriefShare gave me a safe place to go after the loss of my mother. It was okay to let my mask fall off and be myself.” Susan 

“At GriefShare everyone is sharing the same pain and you can really trust that they are listening from their heart. By listening to other stories, I didn’t feel alone.” Carol

“GriefShare helped me to realize that I had been stuck in my grief, that I had never fully processed the loss of my father.” Amy

“After GriefShare, my whole life perspective is different. It’s freeing to be able to talk about your loss.” Jeffrey

“GriefShare isn’t a one-time fix. It’s a long-term relationship with people that have gone through these things.” Glenn